5 Great Webseries That Aren't The Guild

Let me start this off by saying that I love The Guild. If you've played MMO's, enjoy clever writing and quirky characters, or just like watching a better representation of geek culture than what The Big Bang Theory can manage to deliver each week and you haven't seen The Guild, then you've done yourself a huge disservice. This link will take you to where you should start if you'd like to rectify that.
However, assuming that you have seen The Guild (written by and starring nerd goddess Felicia Day) you're probably aware that it might just be the most popular, mainstream webseries there is. But that doesn't mean there aren't other great net produced series that deserve just as much attention, but don't actually get it. After all, what is the internet if not a place that talented people can showcase their creativity. So if you're looking for something to fill the void until the next season of The Guild starts up, or just enjoy a good dose of pop culture themed comedy, these are my five suggestions for where to start.

1. The Legend of Neil

"The last thing that Neil remembers he was drunk playing a game of Zelda, 

when he whipped out his member and masturbated to the fairy in the game 

cause she was kinda hot and he asphyixiated with the Nintendo game 

controller and that somehow transported him into the game."

That short synopsis, which also serves as the series theme song, is all anyone really needs to know going into The Legend of Neil. Created and written by Sandeep Parikh (whom fans will recognize as Zaboo from The Guild), Legend of Neil is full of crude-but-clever humor and sly video game references that any gamer can enjoy. Don't let the production quality of the early episodes scare you away (but why would you? It's an internet show), over the course of twenty episodes across three seasons the show actually manages to go from something like looks like it was shot on a local nature trail, to something that could easily be mistaken for a network TV show. And while the tone show is decidedly silly, Neil's journey actually manages to cultivate an epic, larger than life feeling. Think Krod Mandoon, but with a more compelling story. Those who wish to watch the heroes journey can find the first episode here.

2. After Hours

Cracked.com has been responsible for a number of web series over the years with varying degrees of quality and success, and After Hours is definitely the latter. The premise is very simple; four incredibly nerdy Cracked.com staffers (that are probably way more interesting and well spoken than you and your friends) sit in a diner and discuss the finer things in life. Things like:

• Which infomercial universe would be the worst to live in? 
• Which kind of apocalypse would actually be the most fun? 
• Is Batman actually doing good in Gotham city?

If you've ever pondered any of those topics (and let's face it, who hasn't?) then After Hours is your show. 

3. Gigabots

Springing from the loins of the awesomely formatted Channel 101 film fest, Gigabots is the shortest entry on this list at just 9 episodes long. The shows premise will be familiar to fans of certain anime or Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers; the city of New Neo Tokyo II (yes, you read that right) is constantly under attack by the monstrous minions of Emperor Jumbo who lives on the moon (obviously). So the fate of the city is put into the hands of five men and women when they're tasked with piloting giant robots, called Gigabots, to keep the city in one piece. This series is one that truly walks the line between irreverent parody and loving homage, with every masturbation joke served alongside plot lines that feel as though they've been lifted directly from an episode of Power Rangers. Combine all that with the fact that it's shot on a very cleverly used shoestring budget, which just manages to create a unique style which is more endearing than anything else. I highly recommend Gigabots to anyone looking to kill an hour or so, but especially if you enjoy a little bit of nostalgia with your satire. Episode one of Gigabots is embedded below.

4. Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis

Between Two Ferns is the most uncomfortable to watch entry on this list, and quite possibly the most uncomfortable to watch web series on the Internet proper. Zach Galifianakis is the host of interview show with a different celebrity guest each time, a la James Lipton's Inside the Actors Studio. The twist is however that Zach doesn't always seem to like the interviewee and will often attack them with bizarre and provoking questions. The production values are also not what you'd expect, somewhat resembling a program one might find on a public access panel (the set is comprised of two chairs a small table and the eponymous, two ferns). The guests are usually A-list celebrities, with the likes of Bruce Willis, Bradley Cooper, Sean Penn and a mess of others making appearances and participating in the off the wall antics and it all seems to be in good fun. SEEMS to be. As one watches the interviews one can't help but wonder if the shows is actually legit and Mr. Galifianakis isn't just a weirdo with far too many famous friends. Those who'd like to decide for themselves can find Between Two Ferns at this link.

5. net_work

Sporting a surreal brand of comedy similar in nature to NBC's Community or the British TV show Spaced, net_work was the flagship show of the now defunct Black20.com. The series followed Michael Torpey and Mike O'Gorman on the daily goings on of working in the offices of Black20, where they viral videos for the internet. That description hardly does the series any justice, better to give some examples of what a typical episode synopsis:

• The office becomes sentient and tries to murder all the employees.
• Mike and Michael switch bodies and try and make themselves look like the bigger jerk.
• Mike's childhood imaginary friend escapes from imaginary jail and comes to ruin his life.
• Mike finds a phone that allows him to call himself in the past and uses it to enable his own laziness.

If any of that sounds like a show you would be into watching, please follow this link (the episodes are in reverse order; start at the bottom). Not every episode was gold, but when it was good it was great!

Midnight Movie: Aliens

The colonial marines creep across the metal grating as the freshly incinerated body of the infected colonist burns quietly behind them. The room is silent save for the constant blip of the motion tracker in Hicks' hand. And, without warning, the camera cuts to the image of an almost indistinguishable, spidery mass, unfurling itself in the shadows above. It's the kind of image that stays with you. That haunts you. There should be an academy award for images like that.
The first Friday of every month marks the screening of the Midnight Movie at the Bagdad Theater here in Portland, and as I'm sure you can guess last Friday's movie was Aliens (1986). However, as it turns out, the 35mm print they planned to screen for us had been broken by the last movie house that had it. As a result our fearless leaders/hosts/sponsors Cort and Fatboy had to put in a phone call to 20th Century Fox and secure permission to show a digital copy of the film. Which they did. So instead of watching an old, scratched, faded, 25 year old theatrical cut, we were treated to a crisp, remastered Blu-ray Directors Cut. And let me tell you, that is the way that movie is meant to be seen.
I have long since been a fan of Ridley Scott's Alien (1979) ever since my father introduced it to me when I was 16 years old. It's a film with atmosphere like no other, building quiet tension while it slowly draws you in. The setting simply and effectively removes the possibility of escape from the titular monster and it's design, with acid for blood, requires more intelligence to deal with than a run of the mill horror villain. It took the fantastic idea of space travel and made it seem more relatable, by giving us a crew of plain spoken men and women doing the job for the same reason anyone does a job, to pay the bills. Combining that with H. R. Giger's art designs and the wonderfully thrilling sequences Ridley Scott is able to deliver and there's no wondering why it became such a classic.
But when dad sat me down to show me Aliens, he did so prefacing it with something along the lines of, "now this is the 80's action movie sequel they did to it." It wasn't that he didn't like the film, nor was it that I didn't like once we had finished it, but to be fair the description isn't exactly wrong. I had gone in with this preconceived notion of it, and walked away satisfied, but not amazed. And whenever I would rewatch it with friends or catch it on TV, it was always good for a watch, but I never held it in the same esteem as I held the original. But sitting in a crowded, hushed (mostly) theater with a top quality version of Aliens playing on the big screen forced me to really watch the movie like I hadn't before.
I'm sure we all know the set up, Ripley is recovered from stasis 57 years after the events of Alien and tells her employers at Weyland-Yutani about the creature that killed her crew. The company, of course, doesn't believe her and takes away her spaceship-being-on privileges. But when a colony on planet LV-426 mysteriously stops transmitting, Ripley is called into action to investigate with the aid of the U.S. Colonial Marines and, slimy lawyer, Carter Burke.

The movie doesn't really get started until our group of brave men and women wake up from hibernation on board the Sulaco as the head toward the colony. Ripley is introduced to Hudson, Hicks, Vasquez and the rest of the Colonial Marines along with Gorman, their CO, and Bishop, their android XO. What immediately struck me as noteworthy was that while each possible red shirt is given a distinct personality, we're never forced to listen to Hudson talk about how he has a baby on the way back home, or how Hicks can't wait to get back to Earth and watch the sunrise while enjoying a nice cold beer. We're never forced to become attached to any one of these people with contrived dialogue in this scene or any other. All throughout the film each character is defined by his or her actions and the other characters treat them accordingly. It's a nice change of pace from the lazy writing we get in modern films.
Something else I hadn't noticed before was the brilliant use of sound in the film. The soundtrack is used economically in such a way that tension isn't manipulated or ruined with musical stings, but that's not all. A good deal of the information the characters get in the film isn't conveyed in dialogue but through the blips and whirs of the motion trackers the marines carry. It's introduced early on in the film and in no time the audience is able to pick up which noises mean the coast is clear and which ones mean move your ass, so that by the time Ripley has to track down Newt in the processing station, every turn down every corridor is understood.

Speaking of Newt, some could complain that throwing a little girl in danger was a cheap trick to gain the audiences apprehension, and I'd find that hard to argue against. But the instinctual relationship that develops between Ripley (as a mother without a daughter) and Newt (a daughter without a mother) I find to be the interesting emotional core of the film. Instead of suffering through a Ripley/Hicks romance subplot we're treated to something with depth.
Once I began to realize that I actually cared about these characters beyond the fact that they were characters in an action movie, I realized the action sequences just got better. This is truly where James Cameron shines as a director, beyond the fact that he's a man with vision, he's a man that can direct some truly intense action sequences. My personal favorite being the scene with Newt and Ripley trapped in the medical lab with the facehuggers. Things just go from bad to worse as each character tries to defend themselves from infection until help arrives, and they do so intelligently until Michael Biehn bursts through the window to save the day in a very Big Damn Heroes moment.
I couldn't complete this post without mentioning the iconic final showdown between Ripley in the cargo-loader and the alien queen. Some may see this as blasphemy but it's not exactly my favorite scene in the film. The classic, "Get away from her you bitch!" is a crowning moment of awesome to be sure, but the fight that ensues is somewhat slower and a little more "lumbering" than the rest of the film, so it becomes rather noticeable. But I take the good with the bad and love it for what it is.
I know I'm late coming to the party, and saying that Aliens is a great film is nothing new. But I found something new in something I thought I knew fairly well, and felt compelled to share. If you don't know the film very well or think of Avatar as James Cameron's best work, give Aliens another watch and really pay attention to the details, because they hold up well. It's the kind of movie that Hollywood tries to remake again and again but ends up failing each time because they don't understand the subtleties of it. And if you don't get that, then just like me, you just don't get what makes it great.

Christopher Reeve's Justice League

It's definitely a good time to be a comic book geek. Over the last decade we've had literally dozens of films adapting our beloved characters for the big screen. Some have been abysmal failures, others have been good and one was even nominated for eight Academy Awards. But it occurred to me today that this trend should have started earlier.
I grew up knowing two things: Christopher Reeve was Superman and that when I grew up I wanted to be him. I had a VHS copy of Superman: The Movie that I watched over and over, and I lamented the fact that I didn't wear glasses like Clark Kent. Now that I've gotten older my appreciation for the film has only deepened. I now know that in an era when the 1960's Batman TV show was popular Richard Donner chose to take his film in a different direction, one with true peril and emotional complexity. I also know that it was both critically and commercially successful. It was truly The Dark Knight of it's time. So I just don't understand it. Why is it now that we have this influx of superhero movies? Why not then?
Obviously it's not really a question that can be answered. But what it can do is make one think. What if the superhero adaptation fad had started with the success of Superman. What if instead of a series of increasingly inferior sequels, Superman had given us a Justice League movie back in the late 70's? And who, hypothetically, would play in Christopher Reeve's Justice League?
These are my ideal picks.

Harrison Ford as Hal Jordan, the Green Lantern

This one's almost a complete no brainer. I may have a harsh word or three to say about the guy now, but back in the day Harrison Ford was the man. Let's face it, there's hardly a word to describe Hal Jordan that doesn't also apply to Han Solo or Indiana Jones. Cocky, dedicated, a thrill seeker, a lady killer, a brilliant pilot and usually seen wearing a leather bomber jacket, Harrison Ford might as well just change his name to Hal Jordan.
The only downside to this casting would have been putting off the pivotal releases of The Empire Strikes Back (1980) and Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981), which, if you ask me, are two of the greatest films ever made. The idea of throwing off this man's iconic shooting schedule makes me glad that we're only rethinking history and not rewriting it.

Robert Redford as Barry Allen, the Flash

There are few actors that can pull off the sincerity, optimism and determination the role of Barry Allen demands. Fewer still that can do all that and have blond hair, but Robert Redford has it all. I almost went with frequent co-star Paul Newman over Redford, but his square jawed grin clinched it for me.
The best part of this casting is that beyond his off and on appearances on the Super Friends, the Flash was mostly unknown to the public in general. Robert Redford could have been the man to make Barry Allen come alive as Christopher Reeve did for Superman.

Lynda Carter  as Diana Prince, Wonder Woman

This casting decision is one mostly of convenience. The Wonder Woman television series debuted in '75 and ran through '79 and Lynda Carter is the face the public would generally associate with the character anyway. That coupled with the fact that it would shortcut having to explain who Wonder Woman is, even if it didn't fit into the shows continuity, only borrowed from it, we could narrowly avoid crossing the line from tightly written to overly complex.

Warren Beatty as Bruce Wayne, Batman

You can't have a Justice League without the Batman (failed 1990's pilots notwithstanding), but the problem here is that due to Adam West's Batman our audience already has a sense of who Batman is. We want them to keep their knowledge of Batman as the Caped Crusader from Gotham City, but change the audiences expectations to make way for a more serious take on the character. Enter Academy Award nominee Warren Beatty. Beatty not only looks the part of billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne, but would lend a sense of legitimacy to the project.

Flash Fact: The Dark Knight, with it's eight Oscar nominations broke the record for most nominations for a comic book adaptation previously held by Dick Tracy (with seven) which Warren Beatty directed and starred in. Dick Tracy, however holds the record for most wins.

Donald Pleasence as J'onn J'onzz, the Martian Manhunter

I can't help it. Donald Pleasance's demeanor just seems alien to me. No matter what the role, whether it's Halloween's Dr. Loomis or James Bond's nemesis Blofeld, he always comes off as a rather cold, emotionally distant man. Perhaps it's this, even more than the baldness, that best suits him to play the Martian Manhunter. Unfortunately, considering J'onn's level of power and his character background being quite similar to Superman (Last Son of Mars), it would seem to me that the studio would opt to put someone else in his stead.

But who?

And there you have it. My ideal picks for what could have been the greatest Justice League of America film of all time. Unfortunately that was then and this is now, and until they invent time travel I'm afraid we'll just have to wait for our generation to put out a movie featuring the worlds greatest superheroes all in one place.